Don't Take the Repeats

My mother has had a fever for at least 5 weeks now. Today, on the phone, I actually heard her cough. Then I actually thought to myself, "my mother is going to die."

There is some sort of infection. Instead of thinking in terms of how to kick it, she is thinking in terms of how to stay out of the hospital because Daddy can't handle it. She will die if she doesn't beat the infection. She will either die of the infection, or she will die of cancer because they have ceased giving her chemo until she is "well."

Ironic, no?

In the midst of this, they have purchased a house in Jackson, Tennessee, that is right around the corner from my brother. Tonight, on the phone, he said something about how I was lucky that they weren't going to be my neighbors. I laughed. I laughed to keep the peace because I will be at his house for a visit in less than 72 hours. I will be bringing my new husband and stepdaughter to meet him for the first time in less than 72 hours. Considering that yelling is his soft mode of communication, peace is good.

This is why I blog.

Screw him. I'm lucky? I'm lucky they won't be my neighbors? I spent weeks of my time researching places for them to live, doctors for them to see, and I FREAKING QUIT MY JOB so that I could take care of them and the rest of my family, and I'm lucky? Oh my sweet lord. I could chuck this pc across the room right now.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

So, everyone continues to make pretty steps towards the big move to Jackson, and all I have to say tonight is this:

I do not believe that my mother will make it to Christmas. They have already started hanging the wreaths Downtown, and I don't believe my mother will make it to Christmas.

Suck ass. Suck complete and utter ass. Oh, and ho, ho, fucking ho.