Thursday, August 23, 2007

At least I don't live in the past

My therapist told me that I should live in the now.

The now is fine with me. I like the now. Right now, it is good.

But I have this habit of skipping out of the now and jumping ahead into the future. It's far easier to worry about the future than it is the now. I can plan ahead, chart out different scenarios, think about all of the beautiful "what if's" and the trail of events that might follow each one. Never mind that I work myself up into a panic doing this.

Then I try to get Guy to play along with me. He will satiate me through a couple of what if's and then remind me that I'm wasting my brain power and emotional energy on planning the unplanable.

I think there is a subtle difference between controlling and planning that I need to learn from him. And I think I've used the wrong word for what it is that I try to do.